i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize