Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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