Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
