bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
