a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
