Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
