look no pants
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
