Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You can't just leave with hair like that
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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