Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
