My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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