He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
