I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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