Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
