Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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