you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize