I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
