I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Boobs speak an international language.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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