he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
