No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
