ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
