Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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