I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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