I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
