is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
