Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
