i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
