The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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