with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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