i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
