hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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