Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I believe in your delicious
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
