We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
