There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
