24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
