So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
