I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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