I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
