So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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