Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Screwed.edu
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
