hotel room ftw
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
