I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
