You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize