It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
