Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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