i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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