Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
