you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
