porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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