I just made out with a guy for $7.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
