They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
