Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
