I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dick very happy bro
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So. Much. Porn.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
