I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
