I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
