dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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