seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
