Whod you bang
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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