Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
