he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize