Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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