so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
