Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
