Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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