i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
