if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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