He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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